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Twoberty Has Got Nothing on This

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Maybe it’s just a growth spurt. Or maybe a virus? She did have a bit of a sniffle the other day. Maybe she’s not a fournomal threenager after all?

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Ten Days of a (Not) Cleaning Mother

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DAY EIGHT: That is it. I need to clean. The house is minging. We are all miserable. Even the fridge seems to have a resting bitch face.

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Rhinopotamus

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I reckon that if two heads are better than one, surely I must be superhuman? Because I’ve got shit-loads of them.

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Sleep, Imperfect Sleep

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It’s 3.47 in the bastard morning and I’m being woken up because of a bloody bunny that doesn’t exist.

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Part Four: Dad’s Coming Home. Ish.

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Mum keeps shouting at us today; me, Jimmy and Becki. Not Jayne, though. She’s being alright with her. But that’s only because Jayne’s a goody-goody-loser and doing everything mum tells her. All day. She’s been going on and on and on and on and on. Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. We can’t do anything right. Whenever we make a […]

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Dear Maternity Leave,

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It was at that point I realised I wasn’t in love with you at all. I was just in love with the idea of you. It became obvious that our relationship wasn’t going to be easy.

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The Milkman Can Sod Off

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So the milkman can sod off. We’ll make the most of whatever life throws at us. Because that’s what we do.

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Baby Boy

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Do boy-hormones induce smelly bum burbs? There’s one to ponder.

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Venice

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I can’t believe I had ever dismissed Venice for being a bit watery and too pigeony. But it just goes to show: life is all about who you are with.

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Uvvuh Granny

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She loves me, her mummy, with every teeny-tiny gorgeous little bone of her body and for today, I want her to believe that I will be with her forever.

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