Welcome to

21 Grosvenor Close

Part Two: Reg Benson is a Pompous Moron


Dad told me that I should be a solicitor. Licence to print money, he says. So I’m going to be a stupid prat like Reg Benson when I’m big so that I can be rich, too.

Read More

Part One: The Night that Made My Dad Kill Himself


I ask mum where dad is. She says that the men came to the house in the night and took dad away.

Read More

Dear Maternity Leave,


It was at that point I realised I wasn’t in love with you at all. I was just in love with the idea of you. It became obvious that our relationship wasn’t going to be easy.

Read More

There’s a Party on the Hill…


I gave up. Without shouting the word C*NT, I couldn’t see any other way of explaining it.

Read More

Hang on Little Tomato


And just hang on, mum. A little bit longer. Just for tomorrow. Or forever, if you can.

Read More

The Ice Cream Miracle


Ironically, mum put her child’s recovery down to the chill of a dish of ice cream rather than the warmth of her own brilliant love and resolve.

Read More

The Milkman Can Sod Off


So the milkman can sod off. We’ll make the most of whatever life throws at us. Because that’s what we do.

Read More

The Brother Who Came to Tea


I was concerned that during his visit he might slip into a dullness coma, based on our finite amount of wine time and Whitney deficiency.

Read More

Baby Boy


Do boy-hormones induce smelly bum burbs? There’s one to ponder.

Read More



I can’t believe I had ever dismissed Venice for being a bit watery and too pigeony. But it just goes to show: life is all about who you are with.

Read More

To get the latest update of me and my works

>> <<